10 Celebrity Diets That Do Not Exist But Should

As you may have noticed via my previous posts, I see weight loss and healthy lifestyle inspiration everywhere.  I have recently compiled this list of celebrities who demonstrate the behavioral modification strategies that are key to long lasting weight control through their work.  Unfortunately, none of them have channeled this brilliance into a diet plan, but hopefully this post will give them the needed push to do so.  The Top 10 Celebrity Diets That Do Not Exist But Should are:

1. Tiger Woods With so many professional athletes throwing their hat into the weight loss ring, it is a real missed opportunity that Tiger Woods has not done so.  His commitment to healthy lifestyle is unmatched.  I’m not just referring to his ability to walk around with an empty candy dish (see photo) but it is his skillful use of social networking to keep his good habits going that is an example to be followed by all.  I have talked a lot in my posts about the importance of the social network when it comes to healthy lifestyle changes. Tiger has done a great job of staying active while on the road by building a huge social network of people to support him via text messages, phone calls, etc.  He keeps a giant filofax of numerous exercise partners in every city he frequents, not just one exercise partner who might not be available at the time he feels like exercising.  And, most of all, in spite of all the time he devotes to his busy job as a golfer, he has never let his work OR family obligations interfere with his commitment to physical activity.  Now THAT’S a hole in one!  Proposed Title:  Getting Active with Tiger Woods

2. Lil Wayne (Lil Wayne, sir, if you are reading this: BIG FAN!)   Ok, in terms of weight loss, first and foremost, I recommend that you consider putting the word “Lil” in front of your name to instantly appear smaller.  (Unfortunately, if your name is Wayne or Kim or Bow Wow, you may have missed the boat on this.)  Everyone will assume that you are the “lil’er” version of people with your name.  Pure genius.  Also, I have talked a lot about putting healthy cues in your environment to help remind you to make healthy choices and stay active.  Lil Wayne has really run wild with this concept by tattooing healthy recipes and reminders to his body (Note on his right scapula it says: #PlankADay).  Proposed Title:  Shawty Get Skinny L-L-L-Like a Lollipop

3. Beyonce Instead of putting “Lil” in front of her name, Beyonce takes the tack of appearing smaller by having gigantic hair, a brilliant slimming tactic for several reasons.  First, a hair cut results in instant weight loss. Second, her hair makes her appear both taller (by adding 17 inches to her natural height) and smaller (by dwarfing the rest of her body).  Finally, the giant wad of hair is a great place to stash a Kashi bar, yoga mat, or portable fridge when on the run.  Proposed Title:  A Hair Away From Skinny

4. Kim Kardashian Kim endorses fad diets but has not gone so far as to start her own, another missed opportunity!   Kim’s approach to quick weight loss is probably the healthiest approach I have ever encountered.  By wearing 12 pounds of makeup you are moments away from a 12 lb weight loss.  Have a summer wedding right around the corner? Worried about bathing suit season?  Not anymore, you are a $2 can of turpentine away from thinner.  Proposed Title: “Cosmetic” Weight Loss

5. Charlie Sheen Charlie does not rely on optical illusions like Beyonce and Kim to appear slimmer, but instead is an extremist in setting boundaries on his time, which allows him to fully commit to his exercise regimen.  In multiple posts, I have noted the importance of setting boundaries on your time so that you can exercise, eat healthy, and reduce stress from your life.  Charlie has done a great job of not allowing his boss, job, family, and friends interfere with his lifestyle choices by publicly alienating himself from these negative forces, thereby freeing up plenty of time to devote to self-improvement.  This approach isn’t for everyone but certainly proves the principles I have been promoting.  Proposed Title:  Winning at Losing


6. Steven Tyler As a lifelong skinny guy and devotee of better living through chemistry, he admittedly has little to offer by the way of healthy lifestyle advice. However, his ability to be a positive support person really should be channeled into the weight loss industry. Positive reinforcement is the key to behavior change and his interpersonal style is such that he should be everyone’s best weight loss buddy.  I suggest a book of positive affirmations or better yet, a scale that sounds his voice every time you stand on it.  Here are a few Steven quotes that I would find motivating on that trip to the scale:

“Looking at you, I’m closing my eyes and it’s a work of art, a thing of beauty… And I will finish that off with a double helping of ooh-yeah!”

“Slap that baby on the a$$ and call me Christmas!”

“You know after Monday and Tuesday, even the week says WTF!  That was unbelievable!”

“You opened up a can of woooo-kee-do on us tonight!”

“I think you should put some wheels on that and ride it around town!”

Proposed Title:  Woo Kee Do Yeee-ha Bah-Bee Digga-Digga Dum-Ditty-Dum Ahh-Oooogah Diet

7.  Daniel Radcliffe The Harry Potter star, after going 7 rounds with evil, recently announced that he is giving up his reliance on alcohol. I’m glad to hear that he is promoting what I have been saying is one of the most effective weight loss strategies: don’t drink your calories!  His rejection of empty calories will hopefully inspire others to do the same.  Proposed Title:  The Diet That Must Not Be Named

8. Lindsay Lohan An extreme approach to weight control, but by landing in jail on a once yearly basis you have the opportunity to rein in out of control eating habits and reestablish a regular eating pattern with 3 squares and a cot.  This also provides some uninterrupted time for workouts and self-reflection.  I recommend an annual misdemeanor that harms nobody in the process.  Proposed Title: The San Quentin Diet: 10 Misdemeanors Away From Long Lasting Weight Control

9. Maksim from Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) This one is a stretch but I had a great time on the Google search for his pics.  Teaching someone who is uncoordinated and incompetent a physical activity like dancing can help boost your self esteem and give you hours and hours and hours of exercise time.  Maksim and the whole DWTS gang illustrate the importance of being a health mentor for someone just starting out on their journey. This helps keep you motivated and by teaching, you reinforce your own knowledge and skills.   Proposed title:  The “Stop Stepping On My Feet, You Idiot” Guide to Weight Loss


10. Lady Gaga Lady Gaga has come up with an innovative solution to the problem of hunger and meal skipping.  By fashioning clothes out of food items, she has constant access to a small snack or meal when hunger begins to creep up on her, thereby regulating her appetite and blood sugar throughout the day. Also not to be underestimated is the natural appetite suppressing effect of the smell of rotting meat.  It is no coincidence that she is lean. To prove my point, check out this guy (pictured below), my former patient, who lost 75 pounds by wearing waffles.  Proposed Title:  Eat What You Wear, Wear What You Eat

If any of these celebrities end up taking my suggestion I hope they acknowledge little old me and the FUdiet for giving them the needed push to use their influence to help inspire us all.

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  1. Scott says:

    I’m going to have to try the Eat What You Wear, Wear What You Eat diet. I think that will really work for me.

    — lil Scott

  2. Mbfgmike says:

    I would like to try the Steven Tyler diet if better living through chemistry. Does grappa count or will I get a mean letter from Daniel Radcliffe for drinking my caliores. This is getting confusing. Are there any of the diets That let me eat pickles. But seriously it was a very entertaining post with some good advice and much appreciated humor KEEP IT UP!!

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